Authors note: This was supposed to be how to drive from Miami to CT in 24 hours, but in the interest of not dying I slept for about 5 hours.
Left Miami Beach, Florida on Thursday, 12.16.10 at 9:17 AM and arrived in Niantic, CT at 3:30 PM on Friday 12.17.10
Distance: 1500 miles (2400 km)
1. First off, why would one do such a thing? Simple, to see if you can do it.
2. Food: All eating takes place in the car. It is preferable to pack and have all found prepared prior to time zero, but I started with three hard boiled eggs (still shelled) and a banana and made all other food purchases when filling up for gas. The food won't be good, but you'll manage. I completed the trip with the aforementioned food and a bag of chips and salsa. I recommend you chose food equally as easy to eat while driving.
3. Drink: You should always have water to sip on if your thirsty, but be careful, water must exit once it enters. You must also be a caffeine drinker. I drank two 16 ounce sugar free Rockstar's, two 20 ounce gas station coffee's and one venti coffee from Starbucks. Each caffeine drink lasts a couple hours. Sip and put down, sip and put down. You should always have a steady stream of caffein bursting through your veins.
4. Bathroom: It is important not to make unnecessary stops so try to use the bathroom when you stop for gas. There will be other times when you have to go and you've already filled the gas tank. At these times the stop has to be quick. Highway rest stops are perfect. If there is no rest stop in sight get off the highway and immediately get back on the on ramp to go back on the highway. Using your right blinker pull off to the right into the grass of the onramp. Keep your right blinker on and go to the passenger side of the car away from traffic, open the back door and the front passenger door and pretend to be looking for something as you blissfully relieve yourself in the privacy of the two open doors. Don't ever go off an exit and go driving around looking for a phantom place to go to the bathroom when nature is all around you. Although not so safe, the fastest way is to go while driving. Those 20 ounce coffee cups will come in handy, don't throw those away and make sure to keep the lids. Number 2? Make sure to take care of that when you have a toilet available or have tp in the glove box and perform the double door method.
5. Entertainment: Talking to yourself is OK. Books on CD, learning language CD's, music CD's are all important. Smile when a cute girl drives by. Drive up along side her and wave. Let her go ahead and then try to catch up. This should kill about 30 minutes and although you're an idiot you'll feel pretty cool and be refreshed with energy.
6. Navigation: GPS is a must. Not really because you need it. You're driving straight up Interstate 95 - what the hell do you need a GPS for? However, GPS's have the ability to keep trip data. Reset all old trip data and start fresh. This will give you the ability to keep track of your trip time, overall speed, average moving speed, and time stopped. Keeping track of these things as your trip progresses is exciting and can boost morale.
7. Speeds: Try not to speed. Being pulled over will waste time and upset you. I stayed about 4 mph over the speed limit always. If the traffic was moving a bit quicker I got in behind the faster driver and drafted for awhile, but always be mindful of your speed. Up until Richmond, VA I was able to maintain an average moving speed of 70 mph and 65 mph overall including stops. Aim for close to that. After Richmond, I-95, to put it frankly, blows. You won't be able to maintain a moving speed of 70 because of tolls, cities, and traffic, but aim for 50 mph and an overall speed of 45 mph. This should be possible.
8. Rest time: Other than when you sleep a few hours aim to stop for 10% of the total time. This gives you 6 minutes every hour. During your 10% allotment you should get gas, use bathroom, stretch, and perform pushups to stay loose and fresh. Unless you're taking prescription medicine or other drugs to keep yourself awake you're going to need to sleep during the night at some point. Find a dark place in a 24 hour gas station and get comfy. By using a gas station to nap you give yourself the chance to start the final leg of your trip with a full tank of gas, fresh cup of coffee, and empty bowels - four birds with one stone.
9. Gas: Have everything ready when you stop for gas and don't waste time. Pay with credit and have the card ready. Fill up, do your business inside and get out. My car holds 15 gallons and gets around 33 miles per gallon. I needed to make four gas stops and spent $170 at the pump.
10. Conclusion: When you get to NYC and are sitting in traffic until New Haven don't fret, your almost home! Smile, pull down your pants, and make a refill of that Columbian gas station coffee.
